Saturday, May 24, 2008

Update: My New Look, My New Awards, Etc.

Hey gals, do you ever just wake up with a sudden revulsion for everything in your wadrobe? You're feelin' blah and you want a new look? Well that happened to me just the other day. I decided, at that point, to get extensive Botox injections, and then cover my entire face, body and clothes in white powder!

Oh, also, I am the recipient of UCSC's prestigious Irwin Award for my photography. The ceremony is this week. I made a modest little invitation for the event, if you feel so inclined to go. But, you know, don't trouble yourself if you'd rather be at home reading that thorough, thrilling campaign coverage on the website of the newspaper that you read in print form just a few hours earlier. I won't mind. It's not like we winners of this sought-after honorable distinction were busting our humps for weeks organizing this event, subjecting ourselves to ridiculous 1920s socialite style portraits to bring an iota of class to Santa Cruz. It's not like we did that.

Also also, Rach has been writing in an infuriating Wonder Years style about her boring adolescence here. Keep your fingers crossed that she deletes it soon out of embarrassment and good judgment.

I hope to see you at 5pm sharp (punitive measures for stragglers-- will be denied water crackers, to say the least) at the Sesnon gallery this Wednesday for the presentation of my award-winning work!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Successful Living Checklist

Artsy type photography internship in the bay: check

Job that pays money: not yet

House that doesn't, for whatever reason, reek of cat/former tenants' urine:
still M.I.A. (Plenty of the urine-soaked kind are available-- check craigslist now! Specify "ground floor/basement," "student friendly" and "no credit--no problem!" in your search).

Overpriced loafers with dogs heads embroidered on them:
check check check! The absence of these babies is probably the root of that gnawing inadequacy I'd been feeling, and once I get my hands on some handmade black lab slippers with dogbone print fillagree, the job and apartment will just fall into place without even having to try.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

What Color Is My Parachute and So On?

So I'm trying to move to San Francisco, right? This is a task more easily accomplished with a bay-area job to foot the rent. I keep foolishly checking craigslist and other "legitimate" job boards for jobs for which I might be qualified--- photography, artsy stuff, etc. But meanwhile, an often overlooked faction of the crafting community is becoming profitable: the Cat Humiliation Industry! Julia, it's time to re-assess your career goals. It's a proven fact that pet-owners will pounce on any opportunity to belittle their furry friends. Starting tomorrow, I'm sweeping the charred remains of my carefully crafted resumes and cover letters into the wastepaper basket (burning them first in a highly symbolic ceremony... all invited...butter-based snacks and popov vodka will be served, respectful silence requested and business casual dress, 10:00AM-11:00AM) and picking up the polyfibers necessary to make my own kitty wigs!

Really, I think wigs could look good on cats, and that's important. What's more, I think wigs could embarrass cats, and therein lies the profitability.