Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Art Degree Still More Useful Than Lit Degree Somehow: Field Of Study Provides Related Job

While you losers were out having heated, yet unimaginative discussions about Obama at the local dive, spilling Stella Artois on your slacks as you move to pound your fist on the bar, or inside playing Scramble on Facebook for days on end, forgetting what toothpaste even tastes like, I was out making a name for myself. That's right-- job acquired. I'm now Petco's Official Pet Photographer, serving those members of the community who would have their portrait's taken at Sears, if Sears was a little more lenient about fecal matter. After doing this for one day, I'd say the key to capturing images of pets is to emphasize the bond between animal and master through a nurturing, holistic approach involving both patience and threats of harm and punishment. Keep bringing those untrained, highly excitable german shepherds my way, folks, and I'll keep snapping portraits that you are guaranteed to treasure forever. Finally, life is on the upswing. Only thing left is to find an apartment.

I think puncture wounds from dog teeth probably heal pretty fast.

No comments: